


The One Where Jon Keeps Turning Into a Cat

by dapatty



Series: that werewolf!verse [10]
Category: Bandom, Life, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Jon Keeps Turning Into a Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Not!fic and I don't know either.

Jon was not actually adverse to this cat business. It was kinda nice except for getting distracted by any hint of dust mote, which was why he couldn't exactly remember why he was up on this counter. Maybe he'd just clean his face until he remembered what he'd been up to.

"Jon, cookies," Cherry urged, reminding. 

Lily was trying to shush her. "Cherry not so loud. Brendon will wake up."

"We are gonna get in trouble." Miles moaned.

Jon swished his tail. It felt nice. He'd kinda like to get down though. But the counter was kinda high. He meowed sadly. Maybe he’d be trapped up here indefinitely. That would suck and Spencer would frown at him for being on the counter in the first place.

"Jon, it's okay" Miles said shuffling over and reaching his hands up. His fingers coming up short by nearly a foot. 

Jon reached down and patted Miles on the head with his paw careful not to slide off the counter. He really wasn't keen on finding if he'd land on his feet. 

"Seriously," Brendon appeared in the doorway with his hands on his hips. "This is starting to get ridiculous. Didn’t I leave you all napping? I distinctly remember naps happening."

Lily and Cherry shrieked and then Brendon was a wolf. He whined. Jon could totally relate.

"Spence is gonna be mad," Miles said with the seriousness of a younger brother who siblings were dead set on ruining his childhood through a constant state of timeouts and scoldings. 

"Mad about turning my friends into animals or trying to use them for cookie procurement?" Spencer asked appearing in the kitchen, frowning with his hands on his hips. Brendon was right, Spence totally smelled tingly. It was fascinating. Almost spicy. 

"Told you" Miles said, looking morose. Jon patted him on his head again. He kinda wished he had hands again so he could scoop Miles up and tell him not to worry so much. 

He nearly toppled off of the counter which he turned back, suddenly and with a nearly inaudible pop. 

"Huh," Jon said. 

"That's different," Spencer agreed. "Now get your feet off of the counter. "

"Right," Jon agreed, sliding down and stretching then he scooped Miles up and hugged him to his chest then put him back down. Brendon gave a whine like the whole world was unfair. Miles toddled over and patted his head and Brendon promptly kicked the kid's face causing him to giggle. Cherry and Lily squirmed. 

Jon started to speak and Spencer cut him off, "No, I have no idea and you two are in time out."

Jon sighed and Brendon looked gleeful. Cherry and Lily stalked over to opposite corners. 

***  
See, it turned out that if transformative magics were used on you enough times by well meaning children who were magical, albeit with some underlying motives too, that eventually you were just able to transform into that animal you've been turned into repeatedly. Like if you were Jon Walker and had been a little depressed and moping around two of your best friends house and you kept volunteering to babysit because you weren't doing anything else really and Ryan was being weird and prickly. (Sometimes that's just how Ryan dealt with even those he listed as his closest friends, especially if he was having problems writing, but it wasn't your job to fix that anymore.) 

But yeah, babysitting. Babysitting magical kids who picked up that you're kind of bummed even though you do a good job of stowing that away. They still noticed and tried to uncomplicate things. But they were kids so that meant you got turned into a cat, kind of a lot, which was really disorientating. But kinda nice and uncomplicated even if he could smell how worried Brendon was about him.

Anyway, enough times getting turned into a cat and often enough and if the moon is right, unbeknownst to you because you stopped paying attention to celestial magical shit after Mike Carden promised you were safe from ever ending up in Fairy again, unless he took you because he claimed you as part of his court to protect you because Kevin Jonas asked Mike to (which is a whole other long story, that was more of a cautionary tale about not drinking hard liquor with Gabe Saporta). So you have this false sense of security that shit like getting transformed into a creature on any sort of permanent basis couldn't happen to you because one of the fair ones told you not to worry about this shit.

So, maybe you were just a little surprised when you were startled enough by Sarah, Brendon and Spencer all making out in the kitchen because it was early and you hadn't had coffee yet and before you knew it you were looking up at all of them from the kitchen floor on all fours and all you could do was give a pathetic and distressed meow because what the actual shit?! You totally just turned into a cat and Frank's kids aren't even currently in the same zip code.

"Sarah," Brendon started.

"Nope, I can't do anything like that unless I've had a lot of notice and the right candles," she said pulling away from the boys and squatting down to reach for Jon. She waited for him to walk over.

Jon swished his tail and thought about it. Then he wished he had thumbs again so he could open the back door and go for a walk because clearly they needed some alone time and he didn't get to have Brendon and Spencer like that anymore and certainly not Sarah and then he was sitting on the floor as his human self again. Shit. 

Brendon tackled him. "Please stop smelling so sad!" Brendon wrapped his arms around Jon squeezing tight.

"I'm working on it. But what about this cat business?" Jon asked no one in particular and begged off on the cuddles that Sarah and Spencer wanted to provide, especially not on the kitchen floor and especially after he totally changed into a cat again (almost like he meant to but he couldn't quite put his finger on how yet--he hoped he didn't have to figure it out, maybe Jamia could fix him) and slithered out of Brendon's grasp and scurried to the front door freaking out enough to turn back into himself and grab his flip flops and keys and escaped over to Shane's. Or well, he would have, but instead ended up driving over to Charlie's and sitting in the driveway until Ted came out and told him there was hot chocolate inside or sweet tea, unless he wanted soup or a sandwich or Charlie had brought some oranges from the grove. Ted was kind of an awesome mother hen.

"Am I asking what's going on?" Ted asked. "Or do I just need to wait for Charlie to come home and talk at you? If it's something Brendon and Spencer said, I'm sure they didn't mean it."

"I keep turning into a house cat," Jon said and shrugged. "So, you should probably wait until Charlie comes home."

Ted's eyebrows only climbed up his head a little, but Jon had to hand it to him, Ted did not blink at that. "That might be just outside of my area of expertise" Ted admitted, ruefully. "Let's get you inside."

Jon followed Ted inside and let Ted tuck him into the couch with a blanket and a glass of tea and a few more mother hen clucks and promised to fix Jon's favorite for dinner. Jon tried his best to stop from worrying, but just worried more and kept turning into a cat then back. It probably didn't help that he kept getting text messages from Brendon and Spencer who were in communication with Jamia who was back in Jersey visiting her mom. There was a lot of noise about it not being anything that she could fix. 

So Jon kept worrying and kept turning into a cat. It was exhausting. He napped a lot in both forms, waking up to drink freshly squeezed orange juice that Ted handed him when he had thumbs, or lapping up milk when he was a cat. 

When Charlie got home, he just made room for himself on the couch, tucking Jon's feet in his lap. He was quiet and calm as he waited for Jon to settle, but eventually Charlie's ever persistent desire to talk took over. 

"Ted hoped you were joking earlier," Charlie said. "But you aren't. Why are you so divided, Jon Walker? Is it the season, to do with a friend or simply a 'midwestern thing'?"

"I wished I were joking too," Jon said, untangling himself from the blanket and sitting up only to slouch into Charlie. Charlie carded his fingers in Jon's hair. It was soothing. It was like having his fur petted, which was almost too weird. "It's not a midwestern thing and probably not to do with the season. I'm pretty sure or at least not in a way to matter."

"So a friend problem," Charlie nodded, hands finding their way down to work some of the tension out of Jon's neck. He made a thoughtful sound.

"But I didn't think it was a problem. Like, things are mostly okay. I didn't think it bothered me. I mean, nothing usually bothers me. I don't have control over other people and what they do and I can't help if I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and maybe I'm a little in the way here, but I felt like I was in the way back in Chicago. Tom said I was moping. I'm not moping. I don't think I actually know how to mope, but like," Jon let out a sharp breath. 

"It's okay to mope even if you don't know how," Charlie said. "And it's okay to be mostly Zen until you're not. People get bristly. Especially people who maybe think that someone important to them is slipping away because of their actions. Because they can't get out of their own head sometimes. Because they've forgotten how to let someone pull them out. To help them not take themselves so seriously. You're that guy for a lot of people, Jon. It can be hard to be that guy."

"Brendon and Spence called you freaking out, didn't they?" Jon said, trying to let that sink in for a minute, trying to not worry about two of his best friends were worried about him and about how one friend apparently wasn't. 

"They're not who called," Charlie said wryly.

Jon took a breath. "Ryan called you?"

"Ryan called me," Charlie confirmed.

"But why he wouldn't call me?" Jon asked, and his voice sounded small even to his own ears. Hurt.

"Maybe," Charlie said, "he's kinda stuck in his own head and he wouldn't let you help and he's afraid he pushed you too far and he's always had trouble with apologizing. Apologies are tricky things. They take a lot to say. It's hard to admit you’re wrong. It's hard being wrong or feeling like you're made wrong. He's been trying to be quiet so he doesn't scare you away."

"But he could never scare me away," Jon said. "I know all this about him, but this time it felt different. It felt like he really wanted to say goodbye and I couldn't hear it when I was in Chicago and he was all the way here and then he wouldn't talk to me and I was afraid it was true and that he meant goodbye and couldn't even say the words to my face when I got here. Why wouldn't he let me say goodbye if he meant it?"

Jon felt split in two and he was afraid he was a wrong breath away from turning into a cat again. That maybe he needed too. Maybe it would be easier to feel if his feelings weren't as complicated. He didn't change into a cat though. He was frozen at who he noticed standing in the living room doorway. 

"Because I didn't want you to ever say goodbye," Ryan said. He was standing in the living room door, looking sad, but otherwise amazing even hunched in on himself as if preparing for a blow. 

Jon had no idea how long Ryan had been standing there. How much did he hear? It must have been enough. Ryan was always pretty good about hearing what Jon wasn't saying anyway. He always knew when to take Jon at face value or hear something more. 

"Then why did you want to say it to me at all?" Jon asked, desperately trying not to tremble, trying not to retreat and not turn into a cat because now was simply not the time.

"I wanted you to say, 'hello' but you kept listening to me blow you off. I was afraid that if I saw you, you would call me on my bullshit. Or that you couldn't pull me out of my head this time. I only ever want you to say hello." Ryan said and he sounded small, but almost hopeful. 

Jon stood up and took a few cautious steps forward, slowly as to not spook Ryan. He'd learned that from Brendon, to be careful. He stopped when they were almost touching. Ryan's face was so careful, revealing nothing, almost like he was afraid to hope.

"Hello," Jon said and was able to smile. His smile felt light and free and light a weight lifting off his chest when Ryan smiled back, warm and lopsided.

"Hi," Ryan said and then hugged the shit out of Jon. Jon hugged back, wrapping his arms around Ryan and holding tight. They stayed like that for a long time. Eventually, Ted politely coughed behind them.

"So dinner's ready," he announced. "You are more than welcome to make dopey eyes at each other at the kitchen table and then stay over if you want. The guest bed has fresh sheets."

Jon's stomach promptly rumbled. Ryan giggled, then sobered. "So, cat?"

"Yep, though not since I woke up, so maybe it's over?" Jon said hopefully. 

He only had to wait until after dinner when Charlie dropped a pan and it made a loud clatter for Jon to be startled into cat form. 

"Holy shit," Ryan said, shock actually on his face then he smiled widely. "How cute are you?" 

Jon meowed scornfully, but still darted around Ryan's legs affectionately.

"He is completely adorable," Charlie agreed. Ted nodded seriously.

So anyway, a week later Jamia determined that Jon was simply able to turn into a cat now, at will, if he ever figured out that aspect. Which he did, because he's Jon and he's awesome. And Ryan invited him over to jam and write a little and generally have ALL THE SEX. 

The End.


End file.
